2 Corinthians 2:10–11
Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven... I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
Forgiveness is not forgetting.
When God says, He remembers our sins no more, He is saying that He will not use the past against us.
Forgetting might be a long-term by-product of forgiveness, but it is never a means towards it. We don’t heal in order to forgive; we forgive in order to heal.
Forgiveness is a choice, a decision of the will.
Since God requires you to forgive, it is something you can do. “‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19, NIV). Let God deal with the person. By forgiving, you let the other person off your hook, but he or she is not off God’s hook. You must trust that God will deal with the person justly and fairly, something you simply cannot do.
Forgiveness is to set a captive free and then realize you we were the captive.
Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person’s sin.
We are all living with the consequences of someone else’s sin. The only choice is to do so in the bondage of bitterness or in the freedom of forgiveness. But where is the justice? The cross makes forgiveness legally and morally right.
Forgive from your heart.
Allow God to bring to the surface the painful memories and acknowledge how you feel towards those who’ve hurt you. If your forgiveness doesn’t touch the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete.
Forgiveness is choosing not to hold someone’s sin against him or her anymore.
This doesn’t mean you continue to put up with the abuse. God does not tolerate sin and neither should you. You will need to set up scriptural boundaries that put a stop to further abuse.
Don’t wait until you feel like forgiving.
You will never get there. Make the hard choice to forgive even if you don’t feel like it. Once you choose to forgive, Satan will lose his hold on you, and God will begin to heal your damaged emotions.